1. If I were a month I would be: December, the month of families, food, and giving
2. If I were a day of the week I would be: Tuesday, simple and unpretentious
3. If I were a time of day I would be: Pre-dawn
4. If I were a planet I would be: Mars
5. If I were a sea animal I would be: Seahorse – generally well-liked but not nearly on the same popularity level as dolphins and penguins.
6. If I were a direction I would be: Southeast
7. If I were a piece of furniture I would be: Feather bed
8. If I were a symbol I would be: Asterick
9. If I were a historical figure I would be: I wouldn’t be someone historical. I’d be the person encouraging that historical person to keep working on his or her project, like the telephone or something.
10. If I were a liquid I would be: Unadulterated bathwater
11. If I were a stone I would be: Just a solid rock
12. If I were a tree, I would be: Weeping willow
13. If I were a bird, I would be: Duck
14. If I were a tool, I would be: Watering can
15. If I were a flower/plant, I would be: Orchids. They don’t really die, just kind of disappear, and they always come back every year, at the exact same time. They’re beautiful reminders of resurrection and the power of hope.
16. If I were a kind of weather, I would be: Fall weather in New Orleans. Starts off chilly, but eventually warms up.
17. If I were a musical instrument, I would be: Piano
18. If I were an animal, I would be: Red fox
19. If I were a color, I would be: Yellow
20. If I were an emotion, I would be: Nostalgic
21. If I were a vegetable, I would be: Eggplant, because some people think it’s a fruit and some people think it’s a vegetable. It has secrets, eggplant, and it doesn’t mind keeping them. That, and it’s tasty.
22. If I were a sound, I would be: Unbridled, uninhibited laughter, the audible cluster of fathers mothers sisters brothers cousins lovers, drifting from the kitchen to all rooms in the house. Beautiful music.
23. If I were an element, I would be: Of surprise
24. If I were a car, I would be: VW Bug
25. If I were a song, I would be: “Bleed Like Me,” Garbage
26. If I were a movie, I would be directed by: Christopher Guest
27. If I were a book, I would be written by: Myself
28. If I were a food, I would be: Spaghetti
29. If I were a place, I would be: The beach
30. If I were a material, I would be: Simple, soft, durable cotton.
31. If I were a taste, I would be: Cinnamon
32. If I were a scent, I would be: Vanilla
33. If I were a word, I would be: Sidekick
34. If I were a body part, I would be: The ears that listen and the mouth that offers advice.
35. If I were a facial expression, I would be: Mouth wide open, eyes squeezed shut
36. If I were a subject in school, I would be: Creative Writing
37. If I were a cartoon character, I would be: Chococat
38. If I were a shape, I would be: Slightly lopsided circle
39. If I were a character in a movie, I would be played by: I’ve been told three things: Rachel Weisz, Kirsten Dunst, and Tina Fey. But I’d pick Scarlett Johanssen.
40. If I were a game, I would be: Pretend
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